I was afraid of two things: clowns and thunderstorms. When I was little, before my dad stopped actually being a father to me, I used to curl up in his chair with him whenever a big storm rolled through Forks. After he left I would just cry and cry with the covers over my head, waiting for it to pass. And now I would always just creep over to Jasper’s room and crawl into bed with him. He would just hold me and tell me it was okay. He never teased me about it and never complained, even when I cried silently all over his shirt. As much as he wanted to be that safe place for me, something was always off. He dulled away the terror, but it didn’t go away.
I gasped as the thunder rang out again, trying to fight back the tears in my eyes. I wrapped myself up in my blanket and got up, wobbling across my floor and towards the front door.
I shuffled down the hallway and stopped outside Alice and Jasper’s room. I was half-tempted to knock and beg them to let me stay with them, but as I leaned in I heard noises that at that time were a lot scarier than the thunder. I didn’t even want to think about what they were doing.
I spun around and eyed Edward’s door down the hallway. I took a few tentative steps, jumping with another roll of thunder. I bit down on my lip and knocked lightly on his door, not even expecting him to answer. Even if he was there and he was alone, I couldn’t imagine that he wanted to talk to me.
I found myself chewing on the edge of my blanket as I waited for him to answer. Just as I was about to walk away his door swung open and he leaned against the doorway looking like he’d just rolled out of bed. He wore flannel pajama pants, hung low on his hips. His hair was a mess of epic proportions, sticking up every which way and for a moment I panicked, thinking he might not be alone. That looked like sex hair.
“Bella what are you doing? It’s after midnight,” he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.
“I uh…Listen I know it sounds really stupid but I have this intense fear of thunderstorms…” A tear slipped down my cheek. “And I usually go and lay with Jasper, but um…him and Alice are busy and I didn’t know where else to go.” I diverted my eyes to the floor.
“Why don’t you call Jacob, I’m sure he’d be happy to come over,” he snapped.
“Oh okay. This coming from a 24 hour whore motel?” My breath hitched in my throat as I turned away from him. I don’t even know where that came from. This was a mistake. “Forget it,” I stuttered as I started walking away.
I'm thinking next update on Monday-ish
